Today is The Day.  Almost all of the things that brought us to Bali, and Ubud, are scheduled for today: Steph and PJ are going to climb Mount Batur, the second highest and most active volcano in Indonesia, and we are all going to see one of the best healers in the area, Pak Man.  I'm torn about this day.  I've been looking forward to seeing Pak Man.  Especially as a writer, I'm hoping to be able to unblock my creativity, which has felt stifled lately.  I haven't been working on my novel as diligently as I've hoped, and I'm optimistic that this healer will be able to help me.  Though, I've got an apprehension brewing deep down that I can't quite wrap my mine around.

Stephanie and PJ have to wake up and leave by 2am to get to the volcano by sunrise.  They meet a guide who tells them that this is not a difficult hike.  They should be up to the top in only four hours.  They begin their ascension, and Steph quickly realizes that this guy's definition of "not difficult" is very difficult from hers.  The whole time she is thinking, there is no way we would be able to do this without climbing gear in the US.  They reach a plateau, finally, and Stephanie and PJ are in awe.  The view is astonishing - she can't believe how high up they are.  They are sucking in air, catching their breath, wiping their brows that are already drenched with sweat, pleased with how well they did.

"Should we keep going?" the tour guide asks.  His brow is dry, although he is carrying about 10 water bottles in his backpack.  Apparently he does this two times a day.

Steph and PJ stare at each other - it's only been half an hour.  The rest of the hike is almost vertical.  They have to use their hands to climb up in certain places.

Finally, three and a half hours up, they reach "the top."  They walk along and take pictures and the tour guides asks them if they want to go to the [actual] top.  It's about another half hour.  They shrug - why not at this point? - and continue up.  They reach the narrowest ledge; one wrong step, and they would tumble down that volcano eternally.

They eventually get to crater edge where there is a temple, people making tea from the volcano steam, and monkeys everywhere.  They enjoy some volcano tea and let the monkeys climb all over them before trekking back down.

They are gone by the time we all wake up and head to our separate activities.  Pak Man only sees about three people per day, and he prefers to make one-on-one appointments.  Each appointment takes about an hour to an hour and a half, so Andrew and I drop my dad off with Pak Man and go to Goa Gajah: The Elephant Cave, a 9th century sanctuary carved into a cave.  It was called the Elephant Cave because the excavators originally thought the carvings outside of the cave were of an elephant, but they weren't.

When we arrive, we are given sarongs and we walk through an open-air market.  The people are mostly selling souvenirs, so we don't spend much time looking through their wares.  We've scheduled in some time to do touristy-souviner shopping in the Ubud Market later in the week.





We reach the end of the market and head down towards the Elephant Cave via a jungle-lined stone stair case.  We start to get a glimpse of it through the trees:


 When we get to the bottom of the stairs, we are greeted by what would have been the "town hall" of the village.  This is where important decisions were made (almost exclusively by the men).

 There is also an enormous bathing area immediately outside of the temple.





We then walk to the (not an) Elephant Cave, where there are intricate carvings and vigils outside the cave entrance:





And inside are more vigils so people can pray to each god:








We then walk around the grounds:

















 which are really cool, but obviously not as cool as the tiny kitten we found on our way back to Pak Man:








We then head back to pick up my dad and switch with him


When we get to Pak Man's place, we are taken from the bustling Ubud city vibe to a serene garden.



 Pak Man does not speak much English, but his wife, Lucinda (who is English), translates and discusses what it is that we want to work on, why we were here, etc.

Neither Andrew nor I came in with anything specific that we wanted to discuss.  I have had chronic neck and back issues (#writerlife) and thought he might be able to help with that, and I ask if there is a way to open up my "third eye" - my inspiration and creativity.  Andrew is pretty physically fit, so he doesn't have many expectations.  All we know is that Pak Man has a reputation for very physical healing.

Andrew goes in with Pak Man first.  I sit in the courtyard with Lucinda and we chat a bit until they return.  I try to read Andrew, to see if he can give me hints about what had gone on, or what I should expect.  That apprehension was returning: A pit of nerves is forming in my stomach, though I wasn't sure why.  What is he going to find?  What if there is something wrong with me?  Pak Man doesn't just address physical ailments, he also heals emotional, mental, and spiritual issues.  I've spent a good deal of my life wrestling with inner demons, and questions that I've asked myself my whole life were surfacing - What if I didn't beat them?  What if I'm broken?

Pak Man indicates to me that he is ready for me to come with him.  I walk across the courtyard to a little hut and take my shoes off before I go in.  When I go in, there is a half wall dividing the treatment area and the area that he has his medicine.  There is a blanket on the floor and he gestures that I should lay down.  He begins by giving me a small cup filled with a liquid, which I drink.  It has a strange taste - like vaseline or something, but it tingles and makes my tongue feel numb.  He then goes over my whole body, twisting and yanking different parts to see what he can discover.  He has a stick that he uses to poke different pressure points in my feet and, when nothing seems to cause me any pain, he moves to my ankles.  He works them vigorously (they've been sprained time and time again from years of sports) and moves on to my knees.  The first wave of pain shoots through my body as he plucks the strings and nerves under my knee caps.  He goes back and forth between my ankles and knees, apparently trying to work something out.  I soldier through, trying to find a good balance between letting him know that something hurts, but not so much that he would stop.  After what feels like forever, he moves on to my stomach.  This is where he really finds something: he pokes around my uterus and it's all I can do to keep from doubling over in pain.  He works and works and works on it, and though the pain decreases, he doesn't work everything away.  He then moves on and works the rest of me.  He asks me to sit up and ties my hair in a top knot on top of my head.  He puts one hand under my chin and grabs the knot and YANKS it to crack my neck.  I'm suddenly very aware that the could ninja murder me and just snap my neck.  Andrew made it out, though, so I'm mostly confident that I will survive this.  He then puts his knee in the center of my back and pulls on my shoulders to crack the rest of my spine.  He works on my neck and shoulders, my head, and, right before we finish, he does something on my chest, right above my heart, like he's twisting and churning something around me, and finishes by pressing down and releasing.  As he releases, I have a feeling of being lighter.

I walk back over towards Andrew and we sit down with Pak Man and Lucinda to discuss everything. He tells Andrew that he was able to heal something in his kidneys that, though they aren't a problem now, would have been in the future.  He tells me that he was also able to alleviate a problem I was having with my uterus, probably endometriosis, that would have made it very difficult for me to get pregnant had I not come to him.  He also unblocked my third eye.  He doesn't mention anything about the thing he did to my heart, so I ask about it.  He is hesitant to answer, and then gives a long response in Indonesian that I don't understand.  I look to Lucinda.  She explains that what he did is something he does not do often because it drains a lot of energy from him and can be emotionally draining to perform, but that there was something heavy weighing on me that he was able to release.  He doesn't go into specifics - he won't - but he assures me that it is gone.

We leave quietly, thanking them, and get into the car.  Immediately, we are discussing if we believe what's happened and comparing stories with my dad who is waiting for us.  I sit down and have this strange feeling - as if some tightness in my chest isn't there for me to lean on.  As if I am used to having a crutch or a weight that isn't there anymore.  I keep this to myself.

We return to the hotel and meet up with Steph and PJ.  Well, we see them once they wake up again - they are exhausted from their hike.  For the rest of the evening, we venture out and go to some silver and stone carving shops and then have a quiet dinner at the villa.

I head down to the river for "Midnight Full Moon Yoga" - an incredibly relaxing hour of moon salutations.  The poses aren't physically demanding, but my as my mind opens up, it wanders.

I spend the evening contemplating my new lightness.  What was that weight?  What if it comes back?  The question is on repeat in my mind.